Tuesday, December 28, 2010

100 joke and getting cold. I have fun out of cold tears (reprint)

 1: Once a man fishing, caught a squid only.
Squid ask him: Do you let me go, do not I eat ah roast.
Man said: Yes, I ask you to consider a few question it.
very happy squid said: You test it you test it!
and then the man put the squid to bake ..
2: I have too schizophrenic, but now we have recovered.
3: A student in the U.S. driving test, turn left in front of signs suggest that he was not sure, ask the examiner:
br> hh then hung up ..
4: One day, 5th Floor, mung bean jumped from suicide, a lot of blood flow into the red beans; has been festering, he is a soybean; wound end up with scars, and finally into the black beans.
5: Small sensible hair, next to the school, the students see his new hairstyle, smiles: Xiao-Ming, your head like a kite Oh-type! Xiao Ming feel wronged, to go out crying. I cried myself ~ he flew up hhhh
6: personal long as onions, walked wept hh.
7: Little Penguin one day asked his grandmother, Grandma Grandma, I'm not a penguin ah? ; Yes ah, ah you are a penguin, how is it? > wedding day h
a corn corn h
find another asked beside the popcorn corn: the corn you see our family do?
popcorn: Dear, people wearing Wedding of the Well hh.
9: music class, the teacher playing a Beethoven tune
Xiao Hua Xiao Ming asked: ;
Xiao Ming: raise the dead, the living What?
A: Jiaojiu Ming 2!
11: Question: cloth and paper afraid?
answer: cloth afraid of ten thousand, the paper just in case.
reasons: not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only the (paper) just in case.
12: One day a lady sat down midway car h
not know the way her mother had h.
mother said with a stick to hit the driver ass : Which?
Driver: This is my ass h..
13: an egg cup of tea to the tea, the results it became boiled eggs; an egg run the Songhua River to swim, the results it becomes the egg; have eggs went to a Shandong, turned into a Lu (halogen) eggs; an egg become homeless, it becomes a wild eggs; an egg on the way careful not to fall, fall in on the ground, turned into a missile; an egg go to the yard of the family, turned into a bomb; an egg go to the Tibetan Plateau, the results become a hydrogen bomb; an egg is sick, turned into a villain; an egg married, turned into a jerk; an egg go swimming in the river, turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg go to the flowers gone, turned into a Hua Dan; an egg riding a horse, holding a knife, that he is Peking Opera Blues; an egg or female, long ugly, the result becomes a dinosaur egg; an egg is male, his wife and the other eggs out adultery, and he became a son of a bitch ; an egg hh
14: host asked: Will the cat climb? eagle Responder: Yes! Moderator: examples! eagle tears: That year, I was fast asleep, the cat climbed a tree h later on With owl h
15: both feces shell dragonfly the welfare lottery, A said: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill! B said: You Ah Tai Su a ! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh!
16: why the chicken cross the street
answer to get another side
17: A: That man is doing? < br> B: He was shaking.
A: Why did he want to shake it?
B: Yes he was cold.
A: Oh, not cold-drawn shivering.
A: hh < br> 18: Mr. Banana and his girlfriend have a date, walking down the street, the weather was hot, took off her clothes, Mr. Banana, after his girlfriend fell down hhh
19: a sausage is Off
feeling cold in the fridge, and then looked at the other side of the root, with the point of comfort, saying: ; I'm sorry, I'm popsicle. > 21: This diver is very difficult moves, he made a swivel for three weeks then take a half forward somersault backflip three weeks a month.
22: MM University of got lost looking for. met a gentle professor .
MM: May I ask, how can I go to college?
Professor: Only work hard in school, be above University.
23: Secretary and Chief of pooling the elevator, after the Secretary released a fart Chief said: You fart! chief said: I did not put the h soon be removed from office Chief Secretary said at the meeting: fart great things you can not afford to be magnanimous, to what you use?
24: Question: Now the business is not good doing it!
boss: Why?
Miss: , just graduated, did not find work, really do not have the money hh , I assure you, Allah will not grab one of us! Honey, you have a good lazy Yo, what with which to wash hh on the begging.
a drunk man walked by, that his poor, threw him a hundred dollars.
walking a few drunk one turned around to see the blind man to distinguish the sun goes big hundred copy of the true and false.
drunk over snatched the money back: I am looking for a friend in this, and he was blind, the toilet, but in fact I was dumb. Akira walked hh
28: Avian influenza mm are . know why Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit you?
AB: I do not know!
C: Because Adam did not smoke! (Hint: homonym of a word)
30: someone had just been abandoned by his girlfriend, happened in the street caught flirting with former girlfriend and the new love, he imagined gas, to humiliate them about. Then came forward politely greeted, and was contemptuously new love of his girlfriend, said: ! It felt like the People's Daily mm as real hh
32: just look at the top of the line of duty on the computer screen has a scroll bar things like news, the text above passes very quickly.
even curious to ask: This is the lyrics you?
Sister: Yeah!
Line of Duty: how flies so fast? no see!
Line of Duty: Jay!!
33: Wife: I really stepped on the dog blind feces will marry you.
Husband: I was really blind will marry you step on dog feces.
dog feces: Oh my good luck! lay there have been two of you to step on .. ....< br> 34: Chemical Examination Question: A and B can be transformed into each other, B in the boiling water can generate C, C in the air oxidation of D, D has the smell of rotten eggs, and asked A, B, C, D What the?
I A: A is the chicken, B is the raw eggs, C is a cooked egg, D rotten eggs of course, friends!
35: rubber, skins, lion's skin which the worst? < br> A: rubber.
because the eraser (rubber poor).
36: Q: 3 What is a foot tall thing???
answer: 3 foot tall monster!! !!!!< br> 37: ants go to the desert, and why the sand did not leave his footprints, leaving only a line on the road?
answer: because it is the bicycle!
ants back from the desert home, he did not tell anyone, but his family knew he was coming back! Why ah!
Answer: see his bike parked downstairs hh.
38: One day a woman was caught for drug use police, police saw her hand tattoos and asked her what are you doing to your boyfriend's name tattooed hands, he called the Little good is not h ah .. is not. quickly said that he had .. h. A drug that is not fast addict
looked up I saw that woman with the angry eyes of the police said

This is hate Rights h.
40: One day, Mel and her boyfriend driving out for a drive,
car almost out of gas, just next to a gas station, opened in the past, when a sudden gust of her boyfriend's hat blown off.
small beautiful boyfriend said to her:
through the woods, accidentally taken to a gibbon droppings,
kind of apes the apes cleaned differentiate.
But soon they fell in love, someone asked how did you come together?
gorilla said : Dead fat ..
43: There was a duck called the Little Yellow, one day it hit by a car when crossing the road a bit and yelled: : There is a penguin, his family home and far away from the polar bear, if by taking the case, have to go to get to 20 years. One day, the penguins stay at home, especially bored, ready to go polar bear to play, and he went out, but walked the road half the time found myself to forget to lock the door, which had gone for 10 years, but still have to lock the door, ah, then go home to penguins and locked the door. lock the door after the Penguins went off again polar bear, mean that he spent 40 years to the polar bears and penguins to their home hh door, said: Home play ~ more bun ah? ;
46: Little said: color.
48: a man, his stomach is not good. One day, he came to stomach the hospital, the doctor said: the like, said to him: it? pull down, pull finished, on the polar bear said: !
A: eat a vegetable!
52: two sausages in the fridge, over a long time,
a bit of a shake with the sausage, wow! cold ah ~!
very surprised the other sausages to say, hey? how can you say sausage?
53: One day,
Bucks have only run faster and faster,
went to the last,
it becomes a high-speed Bucks .
54: One day, a teacher took a group of adopted children to the mountains of fruit,
she announced that: All the children ran to pick fruits.
set the time comes, all the children are gathered.
teacher: Wash apples, because I picked the apples. : , Xiao Ming stood up but silent.
Teacher: Xiao-Ming?
Teacher: Xiao-Ming??
Teacher: Xiao-Ming! you how ah? you know the answer in the end ah? anyhow Zhiyi Sheng ah!
Xiaoming: squeak ~
56: elephant asked the camel: l how long your Mimi in the back? r
camel, said: l die away, I do not and the penis with a long in the face Speech on things!
57: how to make drink larger cups?
read Compassion
58: Xiao Ming: A few degrees today?
Xiaohua: minus 3 degrees Ah!
Xiao-Ming : No wonder so cold.
59: A little boy came home from school through the window and get a glimpse of a woman lying in bed wild man rubbing my chest, I shouted to a man!
next day the little boy found again from the window out of date woman lying on a guy,
the little boy went home and cried in bed mad rubbing my chest I want to bike to bike!
60: Once upon a bird,
him every day through a corn,
but unfortunately,
patch of corn one day, a fire,
have become all the corn popcorn!!!
after the bird in the past ... ...
that snow to cold dead ...
61: that there is a polar bear, because the snow was too harsh, and have to wear dark glasses to see things,
but he could not find sunglasses, so crawling around on the ground looking eyes closed, goes up and up Yeah, the hands and feet dirty crawl to find sunglasses. wear sunglasses, mirror a photo, and found: Oh, I is a panda.
62: science class the teacher asked: Why is a cold body after death?
no answer.
teacher asked: no one know?
At this time, there a student stood up and said: That is because �ľ���Ȼy.
63: Xiao Ming in a car accident lost a leg,
Xiao Ming in a car accident and lost a leg,
small crash out again lost his other leg,
small out in a car accident and lost his leg,
fact Xiao Ming is a dog.
64: One day, A, B, C three people go out to play, hang around for a long time to go on the road.
A later said,'m bored, I want to play B.
then C read A glance onto the alley to go play put the B.
65 : Three rabbit poo
pull the first section is long.
only the second ball of the.
third is actually a triangle.
ask it: I Yong Shounie The.
66: When will want reunification of Taiwan?
buy instant noodles when
67: One day Xiao Qiang asked his father:
father said:
Xiaoming dog owners see the fight of his dog, was unhappy to say: beat the dog to see the owner, heard of you?
when Xiao Ming said: good! I watched you, while playing your dog.
69: Bugs: flowers, you do with my pencil?
flowers: No, I did not use.
Bugs: You're useless?
Flower: I really useless!
Bugs: Well, you are useless in 17 people admit to a
70: ants after falling off from the Himalayas is how to die?
The answer: starvation. because too light floating down to ~ so long h
80: Why do dogs get smaller?
A: Because it is farther and farther.
81: Once there was a Ma! it fell into the sea Paozhepaozhao.
Therefore, it becomes a Ma, the result fell into the river. Later, he became It is several successive sets
car to run over, making him appear a good few black stripes.
result, it becomes companions, one day, it came to a factory, the result is transformed into raging As a result, all horses spared, no horse has become a world hh
then, a group of people could not help but after reading this joke to say: br> Finally, to commemorate this joke, it was compiled into a class, we call it > banks who said: tomorrow we must also, otherwise hh, chopped off two fingers;
the day after tomorrow, then hh, in cutting the four; the first 3 days, then hh
Xiao Ming: Is it not also the
banks of people: NO, to the time you become a little jingle.
83: a personal encounter God
day is good when God suddenly going to give that person a wish
God asked: Do you have What wish you?
man then said: I heard that cats have nine lives, then please give me 9 Mania now!
God said: Your desire to achieve slightly!
day That person idle boredom,
want to die a death anyway, 9 Mania Well
to lay the tracks,
results of a train in the past,
that people are still dead the.
Why is this?
because it sets the train cars are 10.
84: a guy to the hospital to be examined, and did a lot of testing.
doctor said: there is good news and bad news! read your test results, I find that you have potential homosexual tendencies!! and difficult to cure!
this guy said: Oh my God! that the good news then?
doctors shy to say: I found you quite lovely yeah
85: a hunter with his dogs to hunt in the woods a slip of the day did not prey.
dark, not willing to ride in, he just kept on woods turn,
horse suddenly said: l you do not give me a break, think I'm exhausted ah!? r
shocked to hear the hunter immediately roll down from the horse, pulling dogs to escape, went to a lesson under a tree panting, the dog patted his chest and said to him: l scared me, actually talking horse! r
so hunters spot was scared to death
86: wolf, tiger and the Lions who play the game will be eliminated? Wolf
because: Momotaro (out of the wolf)
87: A day pick a mirror facing the mirror of the talk about the importance; side of the people here, ah well familiar
B said; is? I see (taking the mirror), I ah! me that you do not know ah?
88: A tomato and tomato B to go shopping.
B Q A: Where are we going?
A does not answer.
B asked: Where are we going?
A or no answer.
B asked again.
turned on Tomato Tomato A B said: We are not tomatoes here? Why do we say it?
89: Once there was a white and a black cat white cat
day

cat fell into the water to save it white on black cat up
said something
`` Q: What does?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
why do the cafes at night? two flies to eat.
small big question: Big Brother, why do we eat shit every day?
big wrote: Do not say when to eat something so disgusting!!
92: Grass Lu Su
ship: ;
Zhuge Liang: What is wrong with h? not ???not pull out, scare the monkeys, and now we must eat a good amount.
94: peripheral hospitals to prevent the escape of 100 patients, two patients still want to escape the mental hospital.
effort over the wall in the beating in the darkness . to 30 under the wall,
>
bare in play in the water,
suddenly was electric fish in the stream, the four boys were electrocuted to! guess an electrical appliance.
Con: ah .... do not know Jesus ~
Xiao Ming: The answer is can store water ah!
small Luo: Dad, why do we have a long woolen?
Camel Dad: Because the desert wind, we have relied on block wind and sand, we will see the ah !
small Luo: Dad, why do we have a foot thick?
Camel Dad: Because the desert is sand, so that we stabilize ah!
small Luo: Dad, The last question, then we do at the zoo doing?
97: hen incubates the eggs, have an egg from its ass drilled out
hen: : stomach ache. a point of view up to sit on the toilet.
100: a morning, to a known tough Executive Morning soldier asked: > Executive annoyed:

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